Perspective

So I'm going to change notes a bit and write something on a little more serious side. I may do this more as time goes by because I find that I like to read others thoughts so maybe mine will bring some insight to someone.
I have been thinking a lot on a certain fault of mine which I'm sure that the rest of you don't have.:) I have always had the problem of looking at certain other peoples lives and thinking "man things just seem to come so easy to them." Now I guess this wouldn't be so bad except when this thought comes a lot of times I'm resentful about it. "Why don't things come easier to me?" I think or " What am I doing wrong that the Lord won't bless me like that?"
I've struggled for years with this and sometimes it has led to bitter feelings toward someone who did nothing at all to deserve it. When it came to my attention a few years ago what I was doing I started to really work on it. I didn't want my life, or my feelings to be run by some imaginary idea that other people had it easier. The situation that brought it to my attention is insignificant but the words that the other person said were the changer. She said "Things don't come easy to us it's just that we struggle with different things."
I'd never thought about it but the things that I saw as coming easy weren't the things I already had, but the things that I didn't. I never went around thinking "man it's so easy for them to ride a horse" because Hey I mastered that as a kid. I never thought "their relationship is so much better then mine" because I can't ask for a better marriage. What I did say was "When ever they need a car they don't have to go out and buy one, someone just gives it to them.", or "They decide they want to go somewhere and they apply for the position and they get it.", or at the first of our marriage when it was so hard for us to conceive I would think " one month and they get pregnant."
These thoughts would plague me on my bad days when I felt like life just wasn't turning out the way I wanted it. So I made the concerted effort to pray to have these thoughts removed from my heart because I knew they weren't helping anyone. After years of struggle I finally started to have some relief. Then the ironic happened. In a discussion with one of my siblings they stated. "I used to be so jealous of you because it just seems like things come so easy to you." I have to admit I laughed. I've always thought things never come easy to me. It all goes back to the thought though that the only things we think come easy to other people are the things we don't have and especially the things we want desperately.
I now am on the flip side to a lot of these "things that seem to come easy." Recently our vacuum died on us after only having it for a year and a half. We knew we couldn't afford a new one and we weren't sure what to do. Within a few days we had another vacuum that was even nicer then the one we had before because a dear friend had heard about ours and just happen to have an extra on hand. Another situation was the case of our van. We knew we needed one but could not afford payments. It just so happens that we were able to take a loan out through some family that we would not have to pay off until we were done with school. The next year we got some extra money from an unexpected place and now our van is half paid off.
Lastly we have never been able to conceive easily. I know looking at the ages of our kids it's easy to think that pregnancy has not been a problem. I guess it has been easier for us than it is for some, but not easy. I have struggled with PCOS since the beginning of our marriage and it has led to more then one ER visit and a miscarriage. Then right before we had the twins we found that the problem was not all one sided. So between the two of us the Doctor was surprised that we had been able to have two kids. With this thought I was thinking " I guess considering our problems it has come easier to us." Then to my surprise with treatment for us both we got pregnant with the twins. It has been a joy and a challenge.
Well as many of you have seen there is a new little icon on the side of our blog with the title "Mommy and Daddy's big Surprise." Believe me that is exactly what it was. We walked around for days when we found out that we had conceived without medical intervention or months of trying. In fact I have to admit it came during a time when we were least expecting because of all of our sources of stress. Our original plan was to wait until the twins were three and then maybe try again but I guess God had a different plan in mind.
With all these developments I've never thought " Man life just seems to come so easy to me." No in fact I've been struggling with the old problem. We are still looking for a job since Donovan's funding runs out in July. We are in a house that was already way to small for our family and now we'll have to find space for another. The hardest for me to cope with is the fact that I will have three children two and younger to care for. Don't get me wrong I'm excited that the Lord thinks I'm so capable to care for so many little ones. If He didn't, I'm sure that I never would have gotten pregnant because it truly was a miracle.
I guess the point I'm getting to is that our lives are all so different and we each have some things that may come easier then others. The moral of the story is that the only things that seem to come easier to others are the things we don't have. I hope I can remember that as I go through this life's ups and downs. Most of all I hope I can keep the faith when life gets hard and remember that the Lord really does give us the things we need at the time we need it.
I hope you all have a Great day or in the word of my Mother "Make it a Great Day!" :)